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Have you ever noticed how the way you feel about yourself
sometimes depends on whether or not you get confirmation of
your value from others? When you enter into challenging
situations with a positive self identity you will discover
that you are living your life with a greater sense of
enjoyment and fulfillment.
I have learned a lot about nurturing a positive identity of
love and appreciation from the man who taught me to train
dogs. Dogs and humans both have a "self identity" that
determines perception of the world, behavior, and one's
sense of self worth. Let me explain how my teacher nurtured
a positive self identity in the dogs he trained.
Frank had a very fascinating way of helping the guard dogs
he trained, to feel respected, protected and loved,
regardless of the situation/context they were in. Here is
how he accomplished this. First of course, he started out by
treating his dogs with love and respect, and by showing them
an infinite amount of patience as they were learning. This
of course is crucial.
Then, the next thing he did was a true stroke of genius. He would
cut a small piece of carpet for each dog he trained. He would place
the carpet in the dog's sleeping area, for him to lie on each night.
He would also take this carpet during the day and set it down in various
locations, and sit the dog on the carpet, as he praised the dog for
being good. Whenever he moved to a new location, he would have the
dog stand up, and he would pick up the carpet and carry it to the
new location, set it down, sit the dog down, and again, praise the
dog for being a "good boy." Soon the piece of carpet took on the distinct
odor of the dog, and Frank said that this led the dog to feel "at
home" when sitting on the carpet.
Next, Frank would teach the dog to pick up the piece of
carpet himself, and carry it to wherever they were going.
The dog would then set the piece of carpet down when they
stopped, and sit on top of it, with Frank all of the time
praising him for being a good dog. Now Frank said, "The dog
begins to feel that he truly belongs in every place that he
travels to, and no matter where he goes, he receives my love
and appreciation. Soon the dog takes on this love and
appreciation as the primary core of his identity."
And I ask you now, if this strategy works so brilliantly
with dogs, would the same basic strategy not work just as
well with human beings? Ask youself, "What is the small
piece of carpet you carry around with you wherever you go?"
"Would your life not be very different if you changed your
piece of carpet to one of self love and appreciation?"
This article contains 490 words.
© Charlie Badenhop, 2003. You have permission to publish these
articles electronically free of charge, as long as the bylines with
an active link are included. A courtesy copy of your publication would
be appreciated.
About the author:
Charlie Badenhop is the originator of Seishindo, an Aikido instructor,
NLP trainer, and Ericksonian Hypnotherapist. Benefit from a new self-help
Practice every two weeks, by subscribing to his complimentary newsletter
"Pure heart, simple mind" at http://www.seishindo.org/newsletter.html.
Contact Charlie at seishin@seishindo.org.
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