How to forgive someone

Play

Life ToolsWe talk about how to forgive someone who has wronged you in the past. Moreover, we will talk about how to use Positive Intention to understand the potential reasons why this person did what they did, and how to the concept of positive intention to let go of your resentment towards that other person. In the Seishindo way of thinking, holding resentment towards someone really doesn’t help us in our daily lives and can actually be detrimental in living a healthy and positive lifestyle.

Show Notes:

Episode Outline:

Caveats:

  • Using this tool will not necessarily require that you make a statement of forgiveness.
  • We assume that you have some form of personal relationship with the other person.
  • You might not find that each and every question in this tool speaks directly to your experience.

Steps:

  1. Name how you were wronged in as simple a manner as possible.
  2. Name and note the positive qualities of the person you have resentment towards.
  3. Ask yourself what the positive intention of the other person might have been when they wronged you.
  4. Consider if you might have done something to make the wrongful action by the other person all the more likely.
  5. Ask yourself: “Does my continued resentment towards the other person add to the overall quality of my life or detract from the overall quality of my life?”
  6. Ask yourself: “Does remaining resentful in some way keep you tied to a limiting version of the past where you feel like a victim? Does maintaining your resentment make it less likely that you will have the future you truly desire?”
  7. Ask yourself: “What benefits have accrued to me because of my experience with this other person?”
  8. Ask yourself: “Deep down, in my heart of hearts, would I not like to have a better relationship with this other person?”
  9. Ask yourself: “What if as a totally selfish act, done simply for my own personal happiness, I decided to go ahead and let go of the resentment I have towards the person that wronged you? What will I actually do to go ahead and forgive them?”

itune-sub

Let us know your thoughts...