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Serving a community of private individuals and professionals
who have the desire to cultivate a life of clarity, compassion,
and creativity. We warmly welcome our new subscribers. Thanks
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contact us.
1. Never underestimate the value of
suffering
The Trappist monk Thomas Merton once said,
"I became a monk not so as to suffer more, but to suffer
more effectively."
This statement offers you a good deal to ponder if you're striving
for greater emotional fulfillment in your life.
When people contact me for help they're usually wanting to
do away with the suffering they're mired in. They're often looking
to avoid conditions like feeling adrift in the world, excess
tension, or chronic pain. All malaises of the 21st century.
In my understanding of the world (which is not to be confused
with "The Truth") people increase their suffering
by failing to appreciate the opportunities and learning their
current challenges offers them.
When we attempt to escape from our pain, rather than settling
into it, we:
1. Set the stage for further
misery in the future.
2. Miss out on the possibility
of learning life affirming lessons.
3. Fail to understand that some
degree of suffering is inherent in the human condition.
4. Miss out on what we most
want in life.
I ask my clients, "If it wasn't for your suffering who
would you be today?"
The answer to this question will say a lot about the way you
feel about yourself, the manner in which you approach learning
and change, and the degree to which you allow happiness to permeate
your heart and soul. You'll improve the quality of your life
by striving to better understand what you're feeling, rather
than looking to escape from your turmoil.
You can ask yourself: "How does my perception of my current
problem mirror my overall beliefs in life?"
"If I changed my belief system would I still feel stuck?"
In other words, "How would my problem be different if I
were different?"
"Solution" and "problem" are two sides of
the same coin. With a solution in hand, there is no problem.
Look for the solutions inherent in your current situation, rather
than looking to fix what you perceive to be "wrong".
"Suffering" and "peace of mind" are two
sides of another coin. When you're suffering, your emotional
mind and your rational mind are locked in combat.
Instead of fighting against yourself, use your whole self to
stay cooperatively engaged in your struggle and you'll find
something within you shifts Over time your struggle will be
transformed into a life affirming lesson.
When you feel ill at ease in the world, it's a signal that
part of you is calling out for help. When you willingly heed
this call the value of your struggle becomes apparent.
Wanting to experience peace of mind is a fine goal to have,
if you also realize that sometimes you'll have little choice
but to feel distressed. Much of life happens in between the
two.
Nothing stays the same "forever", and thus change
is inevitable. Today's suffering will turn into tomorrow's happiness,
and eventually you'll surely suffer once again. That's just
the way life is.
In Aikido we understand that if we follow the direction of
an attack without impeding the attacker, the violent energy
being expressed will be transformed and a new relationship will
emerge.
Accepting that change is inevitable helps you move with life
rather than attempting to hold onto either the "bad"
or the "good". As you open
up to "change" you'll find yourself suffering more
effectively. Peace of mind is sure to follow!
Commentary
If you'd like to learn how to suffer more effectively, you can
receive great benefit from attending our teleclass series on
"Embodied Presence".
If you have interest in helping to facilitate the suffering
of others, please consider our teleclass series on "Somatic
Coaching".
Details for both classes are shown in our announcement below.
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