Resolve your inner conflicts to more effectively achieve your goals


Life ToolsDo you ever feel like you are competing with yourself and find it hard to resolve inner conflicts? For example, one part of you wants to lose weight but the another part of you wants to eat ice cream. Or, there’s a part of you that wants to get in shape but another part of you wants to watch TV. In this episode, we describe a tool which will help you negotiate with your parts and reach an agreement that frees you to achieve your goals.

Episode Outline:


  • We are going to assume when you are using this tool, that you have two different voices that talk to you about certain challenges, knowing full well that some people at times might be hearing three or four voices.
  • Please don’t misunderstand and think you can blithely walk through these steps and accomplish whatever you desire. This basic process does very much work, and it also needs to be carried out with great care if you are to get the results you desire.


  1. Choose a goal or challenge that you have been working on unsuccessfully for a while now, and name that goal in as simple a way as possible.
  2. Now make believe you have already accomplished your goal and make a statement that signifies your accomplishment.
  3. Identify and name the two different parts of yourself that seem to be negating each other.
  4. Choose one hand to represent the part of you that clearly wants to achieve your goal, and the other hand to represent the part of you that appears to be blocking you from achieving your goal.
  5. As you move the hand that is represented by the part of yourself that is wanting to achieve your goal, state what the positive intention of the goal is.
  6. As you move the hand that is represented by the part of yourself that seems to be blocking the achievement of your goal, ask that part to tell you what its positive intention is.
  7. Go back and forth between both parts/both voices, both hands, until you come up with a single positive intention that both parts can definitely work on together as a team.
  8. Ask each part what resources it has that the other part would find useful in attaining the common goal, and then make a statement about how you will pool your resources together.
  9. Clasp both hands together in whatever way feels right to you, as you sit there and imagine what you and your situation will look like once your whole self is working together on the same task.
  10. Keeping both hands clasped together, state some specific things you will do to achieve your goal.


2 thoughts on “Resolve your inner conflicts to more effectively achieve your goals

  1. Colleen Jones (@acolleenjones)

    This was a very timely podcast, as always. I’m working on making changes and struggling with wanting to stop binge eating because it’s not healthy and wanting to keep the extra weight on for “protection”. Thanks for the steps. I am going to try using them to figure out the positive intention that can help me with these two conflicting goals.

  2. Charlie Badenhop Post author

    Good to hear from you Colleen! Tony and I will think about doing more on the topic of weight management. We will fit it into our schedule. Keep the faith!


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